The Gottman Method is a kind of couples therapy developed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Interventions used in the Gottman Method are research-based and grounded in the Sound Relationship House theory, which specifies nine elements of a healthy relationship.
The Gottman Method aims “to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.”1
Background
The Gottman Method is based on decades of research. Over more than 40 years, John Gottman has performed hundreds of empirical studies with over 3,000 couples. During that time, he and his colleague Robert Levenson performed a series of longitudinal studies that found that some marriages end in divorce while others succeed due to the way couples interact.
Married couples’ interactions are fairly stable over time, and approximately 69% of problems between partners are never resolved due to differences in couples’ personalities.2
Of course, every couple argues and has negative interactions. Still, Gottman found that it’s the way couples navigate conflict and the emotions they express that will ultimately determine who stays together and who divorces.3
First, couples who stay together experience at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction during conflict. In addition, couples who broke up exhibited a high level of behaviors that Gottman refers to as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” which include:
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling, or withdrawing from interaction
Gottman’s research led to his work with his wife, Schwartz Gottman, which resulted in creating the Sound Relationship House theory and the interventions employed by the Gottman Method.
